4 Ways to Beat the Offseason Blues
There are four words that haunt every football fan, even more than ‘Commissioner appoints replacement referees’ or ‘Raiders at Kansas City’.
Four words that will haunt your long and lonely days.
Football Season is over.
Whilst the artistic types may scoff at such a notion, the post season blues is very much a reality for more than just residents of San Francisco.
The first one or two days immediately after the Super Bowl are usually ok as they assume a sort of unreal dream like quality, as you radiate the glow of the big game’s hype like a summer tan on the first day of school.
After a couple of more days though reality starts to set in,and the lack of games to look forward to or news coming out of the league has you almost crying tears of joy when Jacksonville unveils a new logo.
Because let’s face it, aside from Ravens fans who get to spend the next six months gloating on internet message boards, the offseason is generally a Mad Max type wasteland where desperate weirdos scrounge through scraps of rotting football information to survive.
So, what can be done?
Personally I’ve found that the key to staving off the black cloud post season is keeping busy, y’know, like Chad Ochocinco.
But, since everyone knows reality TV shows or bull riding aren’t the most productive ways to spend your time, here’s 4 Ways to Beat the Offseason Blues that will leave you with your dignity intact.
4. Learn more about the game
Over the offseason most NFL players and coaches go away, do a lot of research and try to increase their knowledge on the game.
On the other hand most fans go away, play a butt-load of Madden and moan about how they’re going to get dicked in the draft this year whilst seeing how many Doritos they can cram into their mouth .
Now granted video games are an excellent tool for understanding football plays and strategies of football, but what about the history of the game itself?
Fortunately for you shows such as ‘America’s Game‘ and the fact that more books have been written about pro-football than WW2 means you can bone up your historical knowledge pretty easily…so next time you’re playing Madden you can instead moan about how the Bears got dicked in the 1934 NFL championship game at the Polo grounds.
3. Open your footballing mind
Well you’ve tried the best , now try..the rest?
Yep, while that slogan probably won’t sell much shampoo and their isn’t going to be anything out there that’s going to wholly satisfy your NFL craving, there’s a few things that can be your footballing nicotine patch for a while.
The most obvious of these is Arena Football, a game that for many football fans is a bit like roller blading i.e. a little bit embarrassing to admit that you like, but actually quiet enjoyable
Hey, If it’s good enough for Terrell Owens, it’s good enough for you! (Arena, not rollerblading.)
There’s also the local gridiron comps that run in some Australian states during the winter, meaning you can experience some pigskin all with a wholesome Friday Night Lights community vibe. Well worth a look, or a run if you’re up for a challenge..
It’s a sad fact in life that not everyone can win their Fantasy Football comp.
That’s not to say though that everyone should lose the last five games of the season, trade away the rookie of the year for some flash in the pan wide receiver and find themselves without a running back at season’s end. Guilty.
If the pain of defeat still lingers now is the time to start the two-a-day hard slog and start putting in the Fantasy leg work. Mock drafts, scouting gurus, combine results…sure it might seem tedious, but it’ll be a hell of a lot more useful than spending your time trolling through the gossip columns to see which starlet Tim Tebow isn’t dating.
1. Buy something useless
A last resort perhaps…..but it works!
Ever wanted to buy one of those giant foam cheese heads? Treat yourself. Or what about that novelty Rex Ryan shirt? Why not. Or maybe an official helmet signed by each member of the 1972 Miami Dolphins mounted in bullet-proof glass? Ummm, maybe check with your significant other first, but yeah go nuts.
The NFL has a bigger variation of collectibles than any other sport in the world, and as a true fan it’s only reasonable to show your dedication.
Even if the odd visit to ebay is just to stop you getting RSI from hitting ‘Refresh’ on the NFL site every 3 minutes.
So there you have it folks, however please remember that if offseason symptoms persist, please rent out Gridiron Gang.